Musings from College Hall

There are still some feelings of melancholy associated with this place. I'm sure they'll dissipate soon though. It's amazing how the human mind works when it comes to associations. College Hall 2nd floor bathroom -> gray autumn day -> intense pain and sadness. Sunshine -> warm day -> laughter -> driving with friends -> ease. I'm not sure if it's true or not but sometimes I think that my mind works differently with associations than other people's do. Maybe that's just because I don't know how the minds of others work. I just feel like I have something associated with pretty much everything. There's always a memory, a sentiment and most of the time they appear to be completely random... I mean: bathroom -> heartache? Really?

I wonder if there's a way to control what you associate with different places and things. I'm sure there are those that argue the affirmative but I doubt if it's really possible. Even if you try to create new associations, you're still deliberately blocking another one and are conscious of so doing and, therefore, that original association will always be there, right? Unless of course it fades like a memory. Even if I could control those associations, I don't think I'd want to. There's a reason why those connections are there and I think there's something unique and beautiful about them, even if they're painful. They're a reminder of something that you went through and something that you can potentially learn from, something that contributes to you. Why would I want to change that?